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12 Aug 2017
Children with negative behavior habits and tendencies, such as arguing and disobeying, often use these behaviors as a result of not knowing how to communicate through any other means. Parents can use effective parenting skills to encourage positive changes.

As children move through different emotional, social, and physical changes, the stress that these situations place on children can result in arguing, disobeying, blaming, and poor choices. In response to these actions and attitudes, parents might exert control and pronounce punishments. This does address the issue, but usually will not result in positive changes. These desired positive changes will often develop over time as children learn coping and communication skills from the positive reactions of the parents.

Helene Goldnadel suggests that it should be the goal of the parent to try to determine why the child is acting inappropriately. Even though the behaviors are frustrating, approaching these situations with as much inner strength and outward calm as possible is an effective parenting skill. Once an understanding of the background issue is achieved there are greater chances for open communications.

The first key to addressing these behavior issues is time. Parents need to be willing to spend time letting their children know that they are available as listeners. There need to be many opportunities for positive communications between parents and children, without judgments or criticisms by parents. Parents should give children various openings for conversations, with casual questions or comments included. If children feel they are being interrogated, they might shut down completely and turn again to negative behaviors. Regularly asking for opinions on even simple choices gives children a sense of involvement and value.

As parents become better listeners for their children, trust is built along the way. Parents might be tempted to criticize the thoughts and opinions of children when they don’t understand them or agree with them. It is paramount, however, that children learn that it is safe to share these thoughts. Parents can learn to ask their children questions and not react in negative ways to the responses. This does not equate a parent having to agree with everything, but instead shows the child that the parent can be trusted to listen. At later times parents can share own personal thoughts on the subject without passing judgments. Children who feel punished for their thoughts and opinions when they differ from those of parents will be less likely to communicate on any topic in the future.

The practices and habits of creating atmospheres of trust and open communication will ideally begin at young ages within families. The earlier these methods are used, the easier they will become a natural part of the family. It is, however, never too late to initiate this parenting style and the benefits are worth the effort.

Children who are displaying negative behaviors such as back-talking and arguing are sometimes seeking a way to inflict the same sort of pain and or confusion that they are feeling in their own lives. They also might be using negative actions and words to control the situations by forcing others into reactions which are often also negative.

Positive reinforcement, time, and trust are keys to open communication and promoting healthy child development. Awareness of stresses in the lives of children, whether they come from school, friends, or other issues, is important in approaching behavior issues. Children and people in general, will tend to react more positively when they feel they are truly understood and valued.

Helene Goldnadel is a life coach and a singing teacher who has empowered many lives. Helene has also been working with children in voice placement, voice projection. Her various levels of expertise in vocal expression have a lot to do with the ability to sing from the diaphragm. She proudly has allowed for children to become so good at their craft that the kids who sing or dance or act often perform as series regular actors on major shows on television. The children trained at Helene Goldnadel premiere institution, fare extremely powerfully in the film, and TV commercial industry.
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